


A Rose so Beautiful to Make Me Breathless

by Ellinor



Category: Seduce Me (Visual Novel)
Genre: Coffee Shop Dates, Depression, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Human AU, I hurt Erik real bad I'm sorry my princely boy, Love at First Sight, Mentally Ill Character, bookshop au, choose your ending, mentions of abuse, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 11:52:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11012886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellinor/pseuds/Ellinor
Summary: Erik sees a wonderful, beautiful girl and instantly feels himself falling for her.I mean, what else could that constriction in his chest be?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Erik meets a pretty girl!!! Nice!! 
> 
> Also, the next chapters will be two different endings, when they're posted. The first is what I originally wrote, and the second is very sad, and includes mentions of Erik and his brothers' backstory, James' POV, and a dead character. So um, you can read both or one. Comment which you liked best !!!

Erik leaned over the counter, propping his chin on one hand. Today had been slow at the book shop so far, not even five people coming in. His brother’s secondhand bookshop was a little out of the way, but it was right next to a nice little café that made Erik’s favorite tea. It was a weekday though, so no families or anything were expected to come in.

The autumn sunlight coming through the almost all glass shopfront was warm. Erik was practically napping on the counter like a cat in a patch of sunlight when the bell attached the door rang, startling him awake.

“Hello! Welcome. If you need help, you can ask me or anyone with this nametag.” Erik said, sitting up straight. It was a generic phrase, one of the few James made them say when they worked register. James had learned very early that he had to make phrases for them, after Sam came up with some that were too colorful back when he worked at the store.

The young woman who walked in looked up from the paper in her hands. A printed map, with glittery purple pen scrawled all over it, looking like a list of some kind. She wore a white blouse and a dark blue skirt, with knee-high white socks and black flats. Her long black hair was pulled up into a ponytail, part of it still out and just barely touching her face.

She was very beautiful. And Erik made it his business to know what beauty is.

“Thank you...Erik?” She looked down at the nametag pinned to his jacket, then back up at his face. “I’m Mika, and I’m looking for college textbooks, It’s my first year, so I’m a freshman at Northwestern and I honestly have no idea what I’m doing.”

“No one knows what they’re doing when they start college unless they’re some supernatural being.” When Erik said that, Mika laughed. 

Something in Erik’s chest seemed to stutter, and his breath came short for a moment. Erik walked from behind the counter to help, shaking the odd moment off. “I’m currently taking classes for University too, only online, but still. The struggle is understandable.” 

“Really? What are you studying? I’m majoring in Journalism and I might go into business.” Mika said, following Erik as he walked past some shelves into the back.

“I’m just doing regular courses now. I’m not like my brothers, who have their lives far more together than I do.” 

“Brothers?” 

“Yeah, that whole ‘Brother’s Books’ name is something my older brother made up. James owns the shop, Matthew and Sam are both in college but work here part time when they’re not studying, and Damien has his own contract writing and illustrating children’s books. Damien’s also the youngest.”

“Woah.” Mika was wide-eyed. “That’s a lot of siblings. And a lot to be compared to.” 

“Yes… Here’s the section, the subjects are labeled on the individual shelves.” Erik didn’t want some random customer to get his life story, that’d be odd. She had a kind, open face that tempted him though.

“Thank you!” Mika said, smiling at Erik. He felt another strange shudder in his chest, like he was about to cough.

Maybe he was. He should make tea, or ask Damien to get him some from the shop next door. He walked back to his counter, and stopped by the children’s section at the front of the store. After asking for his usual tea, he went back to the stool and waited. Damien returned by the time Mika came to get her books rung up. 

“I hope you had a good shopping experience?” Erik asked as he tapped in the totals on the register. 

“Yeah… Oh! I’ve got my student ID, if there’s some kind of discount. I found this store on a list of places that do that, so…”

“That’d be fine, Miss, here. “ He gave her a discount a bit higher than usual, but what’s wrong with that? “I hope we’ll see you again, and have a nice day.”

“I’ll be back, don’t worry.” Her grin was all straight, perfect white teeth. Except one was chipped. (Still perfect.)

As Erik watched her leave, his throat felt dry. What was wrong with him? Damien had left the to-go cup of tea without the lid, like Erik usually had it. He desperately took a sip, but as he was putting the cup down, he stared at it. A single, lavender colored rose petal was floating in the warm tea. It was cupped delicately, like a rowboat in a calm lake. He watched as it was overtaken by the tea slowly pooling onto it, sinking it. The petal drifted gently to the bottom of the cup, and Erik felt the impending sense of doom wash over him, pulling him to the bottom as well.


	2. the perks of leaving your room for once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik learns why this is happening to him. He also learns that he isn't the best at talking to cute people when he's busy pitying himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erik might seem a little OOC, but I did give him a mental illness in this fic and he also feels bad physically, so he's not doin' his best.
> 
> This is the happy ending !!

It had been a day since the first petal. Erik was finishing his assignments, drinking water, even remembering to take his medication.

So why did everything suck?

“Erik, stop being over dramatic. You have a cough, not the Black Plague.” James scolded when Erik had complained. He had faked sick before to get out of terrible things before. (Black Friday is the bane of him and all of his brothers’ existences).

No one else could see the petals. There were books, an entire shelf in the store’s health section. Erik spent an entire night going through them until he found one that wasn't littered with medical terms he couldn't understand.

There was what he was looking for, a simple passage to help him understand.

Hanahaki Disease: 

Cause: A secret ‘crush’/pining for a/multiple individual(s) in a romantic or platonic sense. The color of the rose petal determines the kind of attraction.

Symptoms: Sore throat/chest and coughing up rose petals that are not visible to anyone besides the victim and the source(s) of their affection.

Remedies: Surgery on the chest/throat, or admitting attraction to the individual(s) to their face. If not remedied, the disease could fester into a growing rose vine, destroying the victim’s lungs. 

Erik's eyes widened, and he choked back what was either a sob or a cough as he flipped to the color directory.

Red, orange, white, yellow, black…

Lavender. 

Lavender, or light purple, roses signify love at first sight, and this is the fastest settling version of the Hanahaki Disease, and the hardest to cure. Many victims do not know their individual(s) full name, making it difficult to find them again. This also festers and grows the fastest.

Victims time to live without a remedy: 14 days. (Time may vary depending on multiple variables, including but not limited to: Distance, age, gender, sex, mental health, and physical health.)

Erik had fourteen days to live then. He sat back, staring at the book. He had two weeks. Two weeks of life left. It couldn't seem to compute. Not even a month left. It had been two days right? So he had twelve days.

There was only one person it could be. Mika. The young, beautiful girl had stolen his heart. Had stolen his breath away. Literally, because he got stuck in another coughing fit, covering his mouth only to end up with a small pile of petals in his cupped hand.

What if she didn't get the illness? How was he supposed to find her? He just stared at the petals in his hands, the pastel purple so soft and delicate and horrifically painful. Erik needed more tea. 

Erik had drank more tea in the past week than he ever had in his lifetime. It wasn't the solution to his problem, but he if he tried hard enough, he thought it could be.

His head was in his hands, and he groaned. His throat was constantly sore, and he always had that odd tickling feeling that made him want to cough. He looked like shit. His hair was limp and gross, he hadn't bothered covering the bags under his eyes or the acne on his cheeks. 

James was getting worried, but he was also busy with running the shop. His other brothers hadn't been around, too preoccupied with their own lives.

He coughed into the sleeve of the dark green hoodie he had stolen from Sam, a full size bigger than what he owns. Blood splatters decorated the insides of his elbows, which were easier to hide than he thought they would be. 

The bell rang, and the sound of the door closing softly followed.

Erik looked up, and saw her.

Mika. 

She was wearing torn jeans and a large purple sweater. Her hair was covering most of her face. 

Erik felt something constrict in his chest.

They stared at each other for a moment, before Mika shook her head and walked through the store by herself. Erik looked down at the counter. Who was he kidding? Mika didn't have it. She was just a tired college student, already wiped out. 

He had one week left. 

Erik was never fond of deadlines. Even with his schoolwork, he would wait until the last minute for everything. If he procrastinated his own death, would he be able to put off telling Mika?

Because it had to be her. Her smile, her laugh… It had to be. Erik had nobody else. But she didn't look sick. Just tired.

“Excuse me?” Mika whispered.

Erik startled and sat up, looking at her. “Yes, oh.” He scanned her book, not even looking at the title. Erik took the card too, putting in her student discount.

“Would you like…” Mika said, trailing off. She bit her lip, unsure of herself. “...To, uh… get coffee? Or just, like, something to drink next door?”

Erik swallowed down the cough threatening to choke him. He nodded, smiling.

Mika looked concerned. What was her problem? She wasn't the one dying. Erik would've been shocked at his own venomous thoughts, but he was so tired.

He stood carefully, hiding the dizziness that wanted to topple him like an unstable tower. James would kill him if he knew Erik temporarily closed the store, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

When they stood in the café next door, Mika ordered a coffee for herself and tea for Erik. “I saw your cup last week.” She explained quietly when he gave her a confused look. They got their cups and sat down at the corner booth in the far back of the café.

Mika set her book onto the table and grabbed a sugar packet from the holder in the middle of the table. They were across from each other. Erik just wanted to sit there forever in that moment, but it was ruined the taste of blood on his tongue.

“I…” Mika bit her lip again. “Erik… are you okay? You look, well, sick.”

“I'm well aware of my current appearance.” Erik said, toeing the line of bitchiness, then held his cup in his hands. His hands were very cold. Maybe he'd steal one of Matthew's hoodies soon, those were smaller than Sam’s, but always warmer.

“No, Erik. Don't pretend like- like you're okay or something.” Mika's voice was strained, like she might be sick too. “I don't know you well, but…” 

Erik stared at her, but was interrupted by his own cough. He hacked into his elbow, feeling petals crawl up his throat. He couldn't breathe, there just wasn't enough space in his lungs anymore. He winced as he stared at his sleeve, but suddenly a handkerchief was being shoved into his face.

Mika wasn't looking at him, but she held the cloth out. It already had bloodstains on it. He took it, watching her. She was staring intently at the book she bought, and Erik stared at it.

“You're very oblivious when you're busy wallowing in pain, huh?” Mika said, not taking her eyes off the book.

Hanahaki: the lover’s flowers

Erik stared at the title. It was the same book he had read days ago 

“Mika…”

“I love you.” She said boldly. “You seem like an intelligent and charming boy, when you're not pitying yourself.”

“I…” 

“C’mon, say it. I can't watch you die like this.” She coaxed, before taking the cloth and wiping the blood off his lips.

“I love you too.” He whispered.

Everything cleared. He slipped back in the squishy booth. Erik breathed deeply, and smiled.

“See, that wasn't too hard, was it?”

“I'd have to disagree.”

“Really?”

“It was harder when I thought you didn't have it.” Erik said.

Mika smiled at him, and Erik saw a petal between her teeth, caught on that perfect chipped tooth.


	3. Sleeping In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sad ending. 
> 
> Warnings for mentions of child abuse, mental illness, and character death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based Erik's depression off of my own, though mine didn't start with childhood trauma. Please, please don't read this part if it could hurt you. 
> 
> (If you feel like I portrayed anything inaccurately or offensively, please comment and tell me. It is fiction though, I'd like to remind anyone who reads this of that fact.)

It had been a day since the first petal. Erik was finishing his assignments, drinking water, even remembering to take his medication.

So why did everything suck?

“Erik, stop being over dramatic. You have a cough, not the Black Plague.” James scolded when Erik had complained. He had faked sick before to get out of terrible things (Black Friday is the bane of him and all of his brothers’ existences).

No one else could see the petals. There were books, an entire shelf in the store’s health section. Erik spent an entire night going through them until he found one that wasn't littered with medical terms he couldn't understand.

There was what he was looking for, a simple passage to help him understand.

Hanahaki Disease: 

Cause: A secret ‘crush’/pining for a/multiple individual(s) in a romantic or platonic sense. The color of the rose petal determines the kind of attraction.

Symptoms: Sore throat/chest and coughing up rose petals that are not visible to anyone besides the victim and the source(s) of their affection.

Remedies: Surgery on the chest/throat, or admitting attraction to the individual(s) to their face. If not remedied, the disease could fester into a growing rose vine, destroying the victim’s lungs. 

Erik's eyes widened, and he choked back what was either a sob or a cough as he flipped to the color directory.

Red, orange, white, yellow, black…

Lavender. 

Lavender, or light purple, roses signify love at first sight, and this is the fastest settling version of the Hanahaki Disease, and the hardest to cure. Many victims do not know their individual(s) full name, making it difficult to find them again. This also festers and grows the fastest.

Victims time to live without a remedy: 14 days. (Time may vary depending on multiple variables, including but not limited to: Distance, age, gender, sex, mental health, and physical health.)

Erik had fourteen days to live then. He sat back, staring at the book. He had two weeks. Two weeks of life left. It couldn't seem to compute. Not even a month left. It had been two days right? So he had twelve days.

It was probably that girl who had come in yesterday, right? The pretty one who was going to a great school. He couldn't remember her name, but she said it once, hadn't she?

He read further. 

Death: Upon death the vine will have grown into the mouth, and will bloom once it is exposed to light. The lungs and trachea of the victim will have been crushed by the vines, and thorns will have pierced them. This is the stage when the flower and petals both become visible to outsiders.

Erik ran his hand through his hair. Damn, his tea got cold. He should go to bed and stop reading. It's making him worse, the heavy, cold feeling settling in his stomach.

He really needed some tea.

Erik curled up in his bed and groaned. He only had four days left, now. His hair was greasy, he had stress induced acne on his cheeks, and he has been wearing the same clothes for the past week. 

His brothers had stopped checking on him, so they didn't know he stole their things. A hoodie from each of them, a few of Matthews toys that were too ‘scary’ for him, one of James’ many blankets, Sam’s extra pillow that he kept on the couch, and some of Damien’s books. When Erik was younger he'd do this. He'd steal things from his brothers, envious of how they always got and made things and what he had as a child got stolen. 

His mother had insisted that if he kept acting like a ‘child’ (he was seven) then he would never be a respectable husband. She swore to make him a respectable husband. He was forced to leave his toys in the living room, where they knew the maid was given orders to throw anything that didn't belong into the incinerator in the basement that Erik wasn't supposed to know about.

Now he's curled up in his little dragon’s nest, trying to stay warm while everything felt so cold. He was wheezing, struggling for each breath, while his lungs felt so tied up.

He kept trying to read Damien's books. He had been so bitter about his youngest brother getting those book deals just months ago. Erik wanted to write books too, didn't anyone care about that? He coughed again. No, none of his brothers cared. Just call Erik a flirt, don't bother actually talking to him. He's all moody again, better give him his antidepressants to shut him up. It was rude though, to dismiss his brother’s achievements

Erik held the blanket closer to him. What time was it? He was only keeping track of the days on his phone, but he couldn't get himself out of bed to plug it into his charger, and it died.

He spat out more blood, covering his mouth with a hoodie. It was pink, so probably Sam’s. He always wore pink when he was at home, the only place he felt safe.

He needed to remember to say goodbye to his brothers. He just…

Erik was so tired. He should really sleep now. 

The vines were almost blocking his windpipe now. He coughed again, and he probably would've seen the red stains and purple petals on his brother’s hoodie if he wasn't so tired.

Darkness closed around the edges of his vision and his breath sounded more like wind through a tree’s leaves than anything.

Erik felt a jolt of fear that made his heart pound. He wasn't done yet! He needed to say goodbye, to live! What was he doing? No, he didn't want to go yet, it wasn't fair!

He passed out, and dimly wondered how he ran out of time so soon.

No procrastinating this time.

 

James was tired of Erik moping around in his room. He couldn't just make Damien and Matthew pick up his shifts forever, and if James didn't do it, Sam would take the hour long train ride back here just to smack some sense into their brother.

He knocked on the door, quietly. “Erik? Erik, please open the door.” James was so worried. He had brushed Erik off a few days ago because he was whining about being sick, but Erik hadn't eaten in at least a day or two. James had assumed he was coming into the kitchen at night like he sometimes did, usually to steal the carton of the mint chip ice cream if James bought any, or when he was doing all nighters he would sneak down like a delirious, clumsy ninja and take his favorite chips that no one else touches anyway. But the shelves were still full of bags of food he would've eaten as soon as the clock struck midnight.

“Erik?” He knocked a little harder. Usually Erik would've groaned, whined to tell James to go away by now.

“Erik!” He hit his hand against the door. “Erik! Are you okay?! Answer me!” Was he just being stubborn? Sometimes he got like this if he didn't take his medication. Maybe he was sleeping? No, he was an infamously light sleeper, unlike everyone else in their home.

He could open the door, but that was a huge ‘NO’ in their little house. They can lock doors, sure, but you never know what any of them could be… doing in their own privacy. James was worried, so he tried it anyway. The door was completely unlocked. Erik never left his room unlocked, it made him feel unsafe. Something was wrong.

The door moved slowly, caught on something. James crouched down and reached his arm around, finding a… stuffed animal? It looked like one of Matthew’s. He turned it in his hands in confusion, and saw a dark red stain on it.

James stood quickly and this time the door slammed open, revealing Erik’s small room.

“Erik?” It was a whisper. 

“ERIK!” James ran toward the bed, and ripped off the familiar looking blanket.

He wasn't moving he wasn't breathing. James pressed his fingers against the wrist he managed to find under a pile of hoodies and more blankets. There was no pulse.

There was no one else home except James and Erik.

“Nine-one-one what's your emergency?”

“Oh god- my brother my little brother Erik-”

“Sir?”

“He-He… There's no pulse.”

“Sir, if you're trained in CPR you may attempt it, but we're sending an ambulance your way. Is there anything else you know about your brother’s condition?”

“I…” James frantically pushed the hoodies and blankets off of Erik. “He… there's a rose. A rose in his mouth? It’s grown there? What the-”

“Sir, calm down, and do not attempt CPR. You could further damage his lungs. He has a very serious illness.”

“I don't- there's a purple rose. I don't-”

Erik’s face was pale, a dark contrast to the blood trailing from the corner of his mouth onto the already bloodstained hoodie that he had rested his head on.

“I'm sorry sir, but the ambulance will get there as fast as it can, we traced your phone. Do not panic, and the paramedics are on their way to bring him to the hospital.”

James dropped his phone, his hands touching the rose. It was lavender, a delicate purple. Erik’s eyes were closed, and he could've been sleeping if his brows weren't furrowed with pain.

Is he dead? How long has he been like this?

“Erik?”

James was crying. His body was betraying him, making him shake and sob like a scared child. 

“Erik please, please…” James didn't know what he was begging for.

A tear fell onto the purple bloom. His little brother, his baby brother...

“Why?”

 

The funeral had no roses. His brothers made sure of that. James was grateful for his brothers far more than he feels like he's ever been before, and that left a bad taste in his mouth.

It was a small affair. Sam’s boyfriend and a few of Matthew’s friends from the Queer Students club at his school were the only extra guests.

James invited their father and Erik’s mother, but neither came. Just as well, they didn't need them in such a delicate environment. If there was a screaming match at a funeral… it would be terrible.

James shook his head. The red tiger lilies looked great in the autumn sunlight, at least.

Every brother said a eulogy, they were all crying. Everyone was crying. Everyone knew Erik, or thought they did. 

They all saw an intelligent, brave man. After their abuse at their home, Erik was the one who lead them. He was able to get everyone steady, to help them back onto their feet. Erik was supportive and kind. He was open when he needed help from his brothers too, when they all struggled with their mental states after their trauma. 

Erik was James’ responsibility, just like all of his brothers were. As tears trailed down his face, fogging his glasses, James couldn't help but feel like he failed Erik. He never listened, but he knew Erik would have in his situation. Erik would have checked on him every hour at least, like he does- did whenever James was overwhelmed and wasn't able to focus. 

Erik was a better man that James would ever be, which raised the question of why. Why did this happen to the best of them? It was undeserved, unjust. 

James was in the same house as Erik. James could've saved him at any moment while he suffered, but he didn't. He didn't and now Erik was dead and James wouldn't be able to just hug his brother again. To tell him how loved he was.

James could only beg for forgiveness in the sleepless nights to come, when he woke up from his unending nightmares, scared and breathless.


End file.
